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26 August 2008 @ 05:09 pm
LOL sparklepire  
In case you haven't already seen it, there's a LOLarious Twilight movie poster out there (behind an LJ cut because it's sort of large, and I don't want to sparkle up your Friends pages):





Now, it's not nearly as bad as the infamous Entertainment Weekly cover...





...what with its awkward nippletastic pose, zombie eyes, side-buckling belt, not-very-statuelike-or-Greek-God-esque chest hair, and wack makeup job. But it's still LOLarious, mainly because (1) I have no idea how/why Edward is hovering so high above Bella (inability to fly just might be his one non-Sueish attribute) and (2) Edward's OMGamber eyes look like a bad Photoshop job (hello, have you ever heard of 1-800-CONTACTS?). And (2 1/2) speaking of bad Photoshop jobs, the two lines of white text on there are barely readable and in a really blah font, as if the designer had decided it wasn't worth his/her time to bother.

God, I can't get enough of Twilight. Is there such a thing as an antifandom? If so, I think I just might be a card-carrying member.

Apologies to anyone on my flist who genuinely likes this canon. It's nothing personal against you! Feel free to go on loving the canon; hell, I'm addicted to The Maury Povich Show (paternity tests FTW!), so my tastes are highly questionable to begin with. It's just my opinion. ;)
 
 
Current Mood: sparkly
 
 
 
[ JESSI ]: [stock] taking this very seriouslyprincessjessia on August 26th, 2008 09:46 pm (UTC)
HAHA His eye. It's glowing or something. That really is, in its own way, worse than the other, as it's trying for and failing at 'realistic'.

Re: your disclaimer - I actually hate it and love it at the same time, if that makes sense. I love the non-Edward Cullens (especially Alice) but I also hate so much about the books. Twilight is basically, to rip off a cleolinda descriptor, my Twinkie. It's no good for me but sometimes I want one just the same. So please, by all means, mock more!
Miss Sophia: Twilight - Edward Maybellinemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 02:35 am (UTC)
I think I do better Photoshop jobs, and my Photoshop skillz are pretty crappy. In fact, I actually did something similar where I changed Dakota Fanning's eyes so that they were yellow (for an RP character), and what I did certainly wasn't any worse than that poster. Yikes.

Yeah, most people seem to be saying the same thing -- that the rest of the Cullens, and Alice in particular, are cool and interesting, but SMeyer didn't bother doing a whole lot with them; any backstory they have is there only to emo up Bella's plot. It makes me tempted to write some fic, just to pursue some of the opportunities SMeyer didn't take. But knowing me, I'd probably just end up writing zombie!Bella going all 'I EEEEET JUUUUUU" in Forks High or something. I think had SMeyer been more tongue-in-cheek about her vegetarian-vampires concept, had she taken her books less seriously as this OMGSOROMANTIC story, they might have had a fighting chance.

I totally agree with the Twinkie thing! And cleolinda's stuff on the series has been cracking my shit up. :)
probably pining for the fjords: twilight - creamed myselfhildigunnur on August 26th, 2008 10:17 pm (UTC)
Oh, I think we can safely say that Twilight has a thriving antifandom.
Miss Sophia: Twilight - Edward Maybellinemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 02:37 am (UTC)
Thank goodness for that! I felt so alone when I was reading these books back in March, wondering why everyone else seemed to think they were the next piece of Great Literature.
alabastard: Gipsey and Yours Truly Evilalabastard on August 26th, 2008 10:53 pm (UTC)
Me too, rapidly forming. It's hilarious, really, and no fangs, gah! I did try to read it, and I respect those who really like it, to each his own, but it's So easy to take the piss...
Miss Sophia: Twilight - Edward Maybellinemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 02:46 am (UTC)
I think what gets me is that Twihards out there aren't calling a spade a spade. It's OK to like crap! I watched the entire second season of A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila. If you wanna talk about lowest-common-denominator television, that just might epitomize it. But I'm not out there shouting about how A Shot at Love is the next Cheers (or whatever it is that people consider good TV). I fully admit that it was utter garbage!

If the Twihards would just say, "Yes, this book is cheap fluff, but I love cheap fluff," I'd have no quibble. As cleolinda has said, Twilight is a Twinkie. It's sugary crap you know is terrible for you, but sometimes you just want it really badly. What burns my biscuits, as my BFF from Georgia would say, is that people are proclaiming it the next Harry Potter. Now, whether HP is or is not the litmus test for what constitutes good reads, Twilight comes nowhere near it, let alone the classics.

Call a spade a spade, people!

no fangs, gah!

Oh, it's the sparkles that are the best part to me. It sounds like something that would've been in a crack!fic, and yet it's serious business in the books -- so serious that it constitutes a major plot point in New Moon! Oh, SMeyer.....
alabastardalabastard on August 27th, 2008 03:38 am (UTC)
I agree totally, it's a light teen romance novel, acknowledge that, enjoy it, and move on, this is not a classic or a great work of literature, and it is not in the same league as HP.
konishi_zen on August 27th, 2008 12:30 am (UTC)
Oh I really don't want to knock it too badly because I'm sure that I have some questionable books and hobbies (Yeah, I admit that I enjoy listening to Rick Astley. Honest) But it is so easy to make fun of, as others have said.

I think my major peeve with it is how she portrays Jacob Black and his tribe. I teach on a reserve school and she leaves out a lot of the common things that are on there, so to me that feels like sloppy writing and no research, so I am less inclined to be gentle on it.
Miss Sophia: Twilight - Edward Maybellinemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 02:53 am (UTC)
See, but the difference is that you admit the books and hobbies are questionable. I definitely have some dubious tastes as well, but I won't argue that The Maury Povich Show is top-caliber TV!

I've never been on a reservation, but it doesn't take a genius to suspect that she's not done her homework there. I'm curious -- what sort of stuff has she left out?
konishi_zen on August 28th, 2008 01:17 am (UTC)
Yeah, I'm not going to pretend things...I refuse to lie to myself when it comes to big or small things. And this series is totally like that.

Well, the darker side of things, like the underage abuse of cigarettes and alcohol, teen sexuality, teen pregnancy, respect for the elders, physical appearance...the list goes on and on and on...
Miss Sophia: Twilight - Edward Maybellinemiss_sophia on August 28th, 2008 01:20 am (UTC)
Heh, the closest she gets to all that is the squicky imprinting stuff. Which...yeah. :(
konishi_zen on September 3rd, 2008 01:33 pm (UTC)
I can see why she would include that, since it ties Jacob to Bella, kind of like "You weren't good enough for the first prize, take this instead" but it is totally gross in its pedophiliac overtones.

Also, if you put it in the race context, it can be taken in a very wrong way, since she could implicitly be implying that there's sexual exploitation exclusive to that particular tribe.

Or it could be mormon undertones...either way, she'd better hope no one reads in too deeply into it or else she's gonna be in big trouble.

Sorry for the extremely late reply, net just came back on in my neck of the Taiga. Heh.
Miss Sophia: Twilight - Edward Maybellinemiss_sophia on September 3rd, 2008 08:22 pm (UTC)
What blows my mind even more is that the characters in her books are all, "OMG, that's disgusting!" (about imprinting in general and Jacob imprinting on Renesmee in particular). As if that absolves SMeyer of having the horrible idea in the first place -- and of following through with it rather than going, "Wow, what a terrible idea, let me not include that as part of my story."

Then again, this happens over and over in the books; for example, Bella's mom at one point calls into question how Bella's whole world revolves around Edward, to the exclusion of literally everything else, and Bella's response is essentially, "Teehee, but OMG I LOVE HIM!" *facepalm*
konishi_zen on September 4th, 2008 04:47 pm (UTC)
That's just lazy writing, in my opinion, to tell the truth and her editor should have smacked the shit out of her for even planning it, to tell you the truth.

As for that...I can understand a young girl, say 14 saying that, but someone that is supposedly portrayed as adultish...no. Wrong. That is the fail.
The Cee Monstersagacious_c on August 27th, 2008 01:13 am (UTC)
That EW cover is ghastly. They look so awkward.
Miss Sophia: Twilight - Edward Maybellinemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 02:54 am (UTC)
I guess it's sort of fitting, though, since the OMGTRUELOVE between Bella and Edward is ridiculously awkwardly written in the books! XD
Genesse: pwned - star warsgenesse on August 27th, 2008 03:06 am (UTC)
I'm slowly making my way through the 4th book and I've come to the conclusion that fandom has kind of lowered its standards. HP allowed us to be out-in-the-open geeky, so now it's okay to let our guilt pleasures be all out in the open, when clearly Twilight and my I-do-but-I-really-shouldn't enjoyment of Twilight is something that shouldn't be shared.

That being said, I really like the poster. The cover, though, will need a bleaching to get it out of my mind.
Miss Sophia: Twilight - Edward Maybellinemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 06:15 pm (UTC)
Well, I guess with all the porn out there in just about every fandom ever (when I found out there was The Wiggles porn, I knew there was something wrong with this world!), we're all about laid bare anyway. And maybe Twilight is this generation's Harlequin romance novels?
Aidanochenne on August 27th, 2008 04:54 am (UTC)
That EW is every bad romance novel cover combined. And was it really necessary to dig up Cedric? Let the poor guy rest in peace, preferably without 50s housewife lipstick.

(Kristen Stewart looks scarily like my cousin.)
Miss Sophia: Twilight - Edward Maybellinemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 06:16 pm (UTC)
See, now, if only they could get Fabio to play one of the Volturi....

Your cousin should cosplay Bella!
From the land between Wake and Dream.: Laughter - fizzlingwhizbeesea_thoughts on August 27th, 2008 08:50 pm (UTC)
The poster is a huge improvement on the EW cover, but then again, that isn't saying much! Robert certainly looks more like himself and the make up is lighter, but the eye is bad and so is the Photoshopping of the couple (and I don't even use Photoshop, so it MUST be bad!). It looks like they got a statue of Robert and made her pose around him. The only good thing I can say is that Kristen Stewart looks really lovely in this photo, almost like a Leonardo da Vinci painting with that soft light on her eyes and hair.

And I'm definitely a member of the antifandom. I do wonder if the ending of Harry Potter has led to this almighty obsession with Twilight. I wonder if there would be so much hype if DH had come out this year, not last year?
Miss Sophia: H/Hr - This Ship is Bananasmiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 11:17 pm (UTC)
It looks like they got a statue of Robert and made her pose around him.

That would fit in very well with the way the books are written. I think SMeyer must have a statue fetish. That's the only reason I can come up with for why she would find it remotely attractive to keep comparing Edward to Michelangelo's David and to go on about how cold, smooth, marblelike, etc., his skin is. I wonder if her husband is all, "Damn, should I rub up against some ice before I get in bed with Stephenie?"

I do wonder if the ending of Harry Potter has led to this almighty obsession with Twilight. I wonder if there would be so much hype if DH had come out this year, not last year?

Oooh, interesting point! Maybe it's filling the void left by HP -- at least in the media, where I assume the whole "IT'S THE NEXT HARRY POTTER OMG" phenomenon originated from.

I wonder how many H/Hr shippers are Twihards.....
From the land between Wake and Dream.: Laughter - fizzlingwhizbeesea_thoughts on August 28th, 2008 08:44 am (UTC)
I think SMeyer must have a statue fetish. That's the only reason I can come up with for why she would find it remotely attractive to keep comparing Edward to Michelangelo's David and to go on about how cold, smooth, marblelike, etc., his skin is.

I think someone must have told her once that Michelangelo's David is "the most beautiful statue in the world" and therefore EDWARD MUST MATCH UP TO THAT. Or maybe she has a Pygmalion complex and keeps hoping that a statue will come to life and snog her. *ponders*

Oooh, interesting point! Maybe it's filling the void left by HP -- at least in the media, where I assume the whole "IT'S THE NEXT HARRY POTTER OMG" phenomenon originated from.

Well, it's a best-selling bookseries mainly bought by young people, that's all they need to say it's "the next Harry Potter". But a lot of fans were very upset about the ending and there was a lot of "What do we do now?" but there's no need to worry now there's Twilight. *rolls eyes* I remember when I found out the Mugglecasters were big fans of the series. I lost a lot of respect for them then. :/
Miss Sophia: Cho Rlymiss_sophia on August 31st, 2008 01:53 am (UTC)
the Mugglecasters were big fans of the series

*ded!!!* Good lord, you mean Emerson et al.? *sigh* On one hand, that's really sad. On the other, maybe I shouldn't be that surprised. They struck me as sort of... silly, I guess, when I saw them in person at Lumos.
From the land between Wake and Dream.: Facepalm - miss_jaffacakesea_thoughts on August 31st, 2008 12:48 pm (UTC)
No, I don't think Emerson is a fan(he was never a part of Mugglecast the way Melissa is with Pottercast), but I know that Andrew, Laura and Matt or Kevin are. They're doing a Twilight podcast and have set up a website for it. They even got an interview with Stephenie (which, for some reason, was available on the Mugglecast feed, wtf?). But you're right, it is really sad.
The Fizzy Champagne Princesspuredeadthingy on August 31st, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC)
I so wish I could find sane Twilight fans. I am addicted to book!Edward but I don't think Meyer's the second coming any more than I think a vegetarian vampire exists.
Miss Sophia: Twilight - Edward Maybellinemiss_sophia on September 2nd, 2008 03:15 am (UTC)
Hee, sparkly vegetarian vampires, that is! XD The sparkles are so cracky; it's a shame SMeyer didn't play them that way.

I have to say that I've been tempted to play a character from the series at H_H for crack, but I think crack could best be mined out of Edward and Bella, and those are yours and Quaxo's pups -- and I wouldn't want to throw them off with intentional bizarreness in another char anyway. :P
The Fizzy Champagne Princesspuredeadthingy on September 2nd, 2008 07:22 am (UTC)
We're trying to improve them. Bella told Edward off for trying to control her life last time we could be bothered to play them together. The fucked-up gender politics in that series do get my blood up.
Miss Sophia: Twilight - Edward Maybellinemiss_sophia on September 2nd, 2008 11:27 pm (UTC)
BAHAHAHAHA that's hilarious! :) I may just have to check that out.

I know Quaxo had a hard time with the way Edward's app was received, but I do hope she understands it was far from a crack on her, but rather on the Sueish way SMeyer writes him. If anything, Quaxo simply did a great job imitating that. :)