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25 August 2008 @ 10:41 pm
miss__sophia is now miss_sophia  

LJ paid account, including 100+ extra icons: $29.95/year
Rename token: $15
Being LiveJournal's bitch: PRICELESS

So back when I got into HP fandom, and Internet-based fandom in general, I swore that I wasn't going to put any money into it. It was embarrassing enough that I had found myself completely obsessed with what most people thought was a children's book series; it just wasn't something I could justify putting money towards. Lots of time, yes, although that was something that sort of sneaked up on me. But money, no. I had purchased a $20 Gryffindor cloak and a $15 Gryffindor scarf, but my excuse was that they were for a Halloween costume -- and indeed, in October 2005, I went to a party as Hermione. (With my curly/wavy hair that can be frizzed by just running fingers through it or brushing it, I figured I'd be a natural.) But the rest of my costume was completely gratis: I borrowed a sort-of-Gryffindorish tie from my husband and wore a white shirt and kind-of-but-not-really-schoolgirlish skirt of my own (as well as my own knee socks and black shoes). Even my props were things I had lying around the house: I happened to have a lifesize orange cat doll that I had bought for a friend's child nearly a decade before, but had never ended up sending to her, and my wand was a stick that had been holding up one of my husband's orchid plants.

That's why, up until a little over an hour ago, my LJ name had two underscores. When I created the account, I wanted to be "miss_sophia",1 but that name belonged to a journal that had been deleted and purged, and to get that name, I'd have to pay $15. And there was no way I was going to pay money to participate in fandom, so "miss__sophia" I became.


It was the icons that began my downfall.

Two paid LJ accounts (this one and one of my RP accounts) later, I had succumbed. And that doesn't count the expenses for a whole shitload of other things related to fandom. Shall I list them?

1 HP con in Las Vegas (airfare, hotel, food, etc.)
1 top-quality Gryffindor cloak
1 Gryffindor patch
1 hand-whittled wizard wand
2 white button-down shirts
1 more-schoolgirlish skirt (although it's short and plaid and VonDutch, and what I really need is a knee-length gray one)
1 Gryffindor vest
1 Gryffindor tie (as seen in PoA, GoF, and OotP)
1 Gryffindor scarf and tie set (as seen in SS and CoS; the scarf I had originally bought is from PoA and GoF, so now I have full sets of both)
1 paid JournalFen account
1 trip to New York to meet RP pals
Ridiculous amounts of BPAL

I feel like there's got to be more (perhaps I ought to count tickets and a trip to New York to see Rufus Wainwright in concert, since it was through LJ that I learned of him and became a fan), but that's what I can recall for now.

Anyway, after putting all of this money into my fannish obsessions, what's another $15 to get a better-looking LJ name? It all comes full circle, and now, one rename token later, I am miss_sophia.

1 Just in case anyone's wondering, my name is not actually Sophia. ;) "Miss Sophia's Diary," the name of my journal, is the name of my favorite short story. It's by Ding Ling (insert penis joke here), who was a feminist author in China in the 1920s. The protagonist, Miss Sophia, is actually a rather awful person. Her closest guy friend, Weidi, is crazy in love with her, and that drives her nuts, so she does things like say stuff she knows will hurt him and manipulate him into catering to her whims. (Granted, she is sick with tuberculosis and does need people to take care of her at times, but she purposely uses Weidi just because she knows she can, and when she's feeling depressed, that small triumph makes her feel good...until it makes her loathe herself...which makes her want to do more hateful things...and so on.) And then Miss Sophia falls for this dude who's smokin' hot, but turns out to be kind of a jackass. But she's so drawn to his looks that she doesn't care about his jackassness...until she finally has a chance to act on her attraction to him, at which time she finds herself grossed out by him after all, and that makes her disgusted with herself, and...yeah, I know, it's like, why the hell would I name myself after such a character? Hey, man, I just like the story and think the name is pretty. And when I read the story for the first time in a Chinese literature course in college, I recognized some of myself and my silly teenage melodramatic relationships from high school. Anyway, it really is a great story, told in an interesting diary format that doesn't come across cliché at all, but rather lays bare this very real personality for the reader. Plus, there's the bonus hints of a former lesbian relationship, which was very subversive for 1920s China.

In other news, yeah, the two times Meghan slept through the night last week were apparently flukes. We're back to waking up every two to three hours, even with her sweet potatoes at night. So now I have wretched sweet-potato baby farts, but no sleep to show for it! *flail!!!* I've noticed a pattern, actually, which is that after I've reached my wit's end with her crappy sleeping, she'll have two wonderful, amazing nights in which she breaks all previous records for longest stretch of sleep. First it was that she had done four hours in a row (this was back around her 4-month birthday). Then, two weeks later or so, it was six hours in a row. And then last week, we hit two nights with about eight hours in a row. But between each set of record-breaking days, her sleeping slowly slides back until it's every two hours. So when she did the six-hour sets, it then slipped to five or four hours, and then three hours, and then two hours, and then there were nights where she woke up EVERY HOUR. I was ready to pull my hair out...and then she gifted me with two eight-hour nights...which slipped to six, then to four, then to two....

*siiiiggghhhh* I guess sleep will just elude me for a while. And I don't know if it's worse to have shitty sleep every single night or to get these wonderful long-stretch nights that get my hopes up that we're finally leaving newborn-sleep territory, only to have the hopes smashed to bits as her sleep worsens over each successive night.

I've even waited out most of her wakeups to see if she'll go back to sleep on her own. A few times, that's actually happened, but most of the time the crying escalates, and I have to go feed her. (And she does tend to eat, at least for a little bit. And when she's clearly not sucking milk out anymore, I remove her from the breast and put her back in her crib. At least she tends to turn over and go right to sleep, as long as she's not wide awake, which she usually isn't. It sucked even more when I couldn't put her down anywhere else but on me or in my bed.)

It often feels like I will still have the baby monitor next to me 18 years from now, and when she cries, I will rush over to her college dorm and help her fall back asleep. I know it won't be that way, but it's often hard to remember that this is not a permanent state of affairs, that I will get a full night of sleep at some point during her early childhood. (Of course, depending on just when that is, I'll probably be trying for a second child, so my nights of good sleep will be short lived anyway! GAH!)

My mom says I was a terrible sleeper as a child, too, and that this is payback. If Meghan's crap sleeping habits are some sort of somnambulatory karma, then she just may be cursed blessed with a child who won't sleep through the night until at least middle school!

In other Meghan news, avocados have joined bananas at the top of the list of foods that apparently taste like dog shit to her. Peas are tolerable. Oatmeal is growing on her, and she continues to enjoy rice cereal. But nothing beats the sweet potato. If only it would work its magic once more and grant me a good night of sleep!

I have high hopes for tonight, actually, because our evening dinner plans caused her to get to bed late: 9:45, as opposed to her usual bedtime of sometime between 8 and 9. In addition, she barely napped all day -- just a few 10-minute catnaps. And when I nursed her just before bedtime, she actually detached herself from the breast when she was done, turned her head to the side, and passed out! Usually, she tries to stay attached to the breast, and it takes a while for her to fall asleep enough that I can remove her successfully and transfer her to the crib. But this time, she turned away, I put her in the crib, and that was that! So she's good and tired. Maybe this will mean a good, long stretch of sleep? I've got my hopes up, even though I know that's a dangerous proposition!

Luckily for her, she's extremely cute:

(Yes, I know, that was gratuitous of me, but hey, I'm a proud mom. :) )
Current Mood: awakeawake
gijane7702: FriendsInComputergijane7702 on August 26th, 2008 04:53 am (UTC)


Haven't been around much myself (aka not reading my Friends' page). I sorta missed the whole YOU HAD A BABY??!! announcement!!!

(She's cute, btw, though!)
Miss Sophia: Gryffindor Braverymiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 01:11 am (UTC)
Hi! :)

Well, the "I had a baby!" announcement was not much more than a week ago, so you didn't miss much! Thanks -- yeah, I think she's adorable, but of course, I'm biased.

Hope things are well with you!
I am not a number; I am a free man!arxev on August 26th, 2008 05:57 am (UTC)
OMG, she's adorable :D
I am not a number; I am a free man!arxev on August 26th, 2008 05:58 am (UTC)
Also, I can totally see that she looks both like you and miss_sophia-hubby. :)
(no subject) - miss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 01:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - arxev on August 27th, 2008 01:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - miss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 01:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
Suze: CAKE *__*fidrich on August 26th, 2008 08:19 am (UTC)
Oh my god she is adorable. I've got my fingers crossed that you'll have/have had/are having a nice sleep tonight (timezones messing with my mind, gah)! <3
Miss Sophia: Meghan - Sweet potato smilemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 01:17 am (UTC)
Thanks! Yeah, she's quite a character, and it shows on her face. XD

It was a decent night. Not the best, not the worst. I'll take it! Tonight, however, I fear is going to suck. Just a feeling I have, combined with the fact that she didn't eat much solid food (we tried to inflict peas on her again) and the other fact that my cat has been up in my face, rubbing herself all over, for the past 10 minutes, exacerbating allergies that I'm not even supposed to have! Gah!
alabastard: TheMalfoyBoysalabastard on August 26th, 2008 09:09 am (UTC)
muahahaha, muahahahaha

See what happens when you hang around the Malfoys, you spend money! Seriiously though, it's worth it and welcome back.

She's adorable, absolutely. You should be proud.
Miss Sophia: House of Blackmiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 01:23 am (UTC)
Oh, it really is worth it. I've met quite a few wonderful people through LJ, RP, and fandom in general, including you and Draco, of course, and it's been more than worth every penny!

And thanks so much -- I definitely am proud! :D Looking forward to you meeting her!
(no subject) - alabastard on August 27th, 2008 03:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
dragonsinger954 on August 26th, 2008 12:04 pm (UTC)
Instead of sweet potatos at night, try some of her cereal. My mother suggested that with mine and it was more filling so they slept longer...
Miss Sophia: Meghan - Sweet potato smilemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 01:25 am (UTC)
Oh, we typically give her a portion of cereal (either rice cereal or oatmeal) and something else (fruit or veggie, although she's only taken to the sweet potatoes so far). Unfortunately, she just sucks that much at sleeping! But thanks for the suggestion -- I'm open to anything and everything at this point!!!
The Cee Monster: Cute (Art: Tree)sagacious_c on August 26th, 2008 01:01 pm (UTC)
Cutie pie!!!

I had my LJ for over two years before I realized that yes, it was a habit I wasn't going to just abandon, and that 6 icons just wasn't going to cut it, so I finally got a paid account. And now I'm considering the name-change thing because I don't like my user name (the hold up is that I don't have something specific I want to switch to... still mulling it over).
Miss Sophia: Circle Kmiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 01:27 am (UTC)
Thanks! :D

Yeah, six icons is way too few. That's how LJ gets ya. It's always the icons. And you can't just buy more icons; you have to have the paid account first. Actually, I often wonder why they don't let you buy even more than 100 icons. I'm sure people would continue to pay in extra $10 increments for each subsequent set of 100 icons.

Hee, all I can think of for a different name for you is "sagacious_d", sort of like Tenacious D. But...that's not really very different, is it?!
ex_jo_blogs on August 26th, 2008 03:58 pm (UTC)
She IS extremely cute. Aww!
Miss Sophia: Meghan - Sweet potato smilemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 01:27 am (UTC)
Thanks! :D That's my Meghan!
Spicedogs: Meghanspicedogs on August 26th, 2008 04:29 pm (UTC)
I hope that she did give you the night you so dream of. And you can add my expenses to your fandom. Let's see 3 paid RP accounts, 1 paid account that succumbed to 1 permanent account after paying for extra icons and extra photo gallery space, and changing name from spicedogs_lost to plain spicedogs. But the bond that we have with you and the friends that I made through LJ are indeed priceless.

Edited at 2008-08-26 05:20 pm (UTC)
Miss Sophia: Meghan - Sweet potato smilemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 01:29 am (UTC)
Heh, well, you know by now that that did not happen. But it wasn't a terrible night either. I think tonight's gonna suck, though. She didn't have much peas at all, and while she did finish her oatmeal, it wasn't a huge amount. And on top of that, Brie rubbed herself against my face so much that she exacerbated allergies I don't even have (I tested negative at the allergist for dogs and cats!), and now I'm sneezing like CRAZY and have an itchy throat. So yeah, it's gonna be a shitty night. I should just give up now!
(no subject) - miss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 02:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
Margo! Boxcar! Saturn!chocolatepot on August 26th, 2008 09:40 pm (UTC)
Miss Sophia: Meghan - Sweet potato smilemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 01:29 am (UTC)
Thanks! :D
Marie of Romania: chocolate by bitsy_iconsmiss_daizy on August 27th, 2008 12:27 am (UTC)
She's wonderfully adorable. What bright eyes!

You're on the right path for sleeping through the night. Adding cereal and letting her cry it out for a while definitely will work sooner than you would think. Have you tried changing her daytime schedule? Shortening her last nap before bed or starting it earlier is also very helpful. Keep her up a bit later too if you can. Sleeping through the night is a habit and you can re-arrange her schedule once she figures out the nighttime is for long sleep. Do you bath her before putting her down for the night? That can really tired them out and put them in a relaxed frame of mind.

My two are less than two years apart and if I hadn't manipulated them into sleeping through the night I'd never have survived. Of course, soon I'll be dealing with the sleeplessness of the teenage years, but I think it takes Valium to get through those.
Miss Sophia: Meghan - Sweet potato smilemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 01:38 am (UTC)
Thanks! :D Yeah, everyone comments on how alert her eyes are. Sometimes I wonder, though, if her alertness is at least part of what causes her sleep issues!

Have you tried changing her daytime schedule?

HAHAHAHA, schedule? What schedule? Actually, I take that back. She does have somewhat of a morning schedule now: She wakes up sometime between 7 and 9, is up for two hours, and then takes a nap in her crib for around an hour, more or less. This is major progress for a child who, up until around a month ago, refused to nap anywhere except on a Boppy on my lap. Every time I put her down, she'd cry inconsolably, even if she had been deeply asleep just before that. And there were days that she would just not nap at all if she couldn't be on my lap.

But the rest of her day isn't that scheduled. Part of it is because we often go out in the afternoons and evenings, but part of it is also just that I have a hard time getting her to take more than just a five-minute-or-so catnap in her crib in the afternoons, even on normal days when we don't go anywhere at all. Sometimes she ends up sleeping on my lap, and sometimes she just doesn't sleep at all. And other times, she naps in the car if we're going somewhere.

So yeah, I don't think I could shorten her last nap before bed or start it earlier because it doesn't typically exist, or at least exist with any consistency. It blows me away how little sleep this child gets away with!

We used to bathe her at night, but it somehow shifted to mornings (I think because of monster poops in the morning!). Yeah, it might be worth shifting back to nights and seeing if that helps. I'm willing to try anything at this point!
jenn: dracoso_severus on August 27th, 2008 02:04 am (UTC)
It took me a long time to notice the difference with your username
I was like why did it cost $15?! lol
glad i'm going to the eye doctor this weekend

meghan is too cute for words!!! :D :) :)
Miss Sophia: Twilight - Edward Maybellinemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 02:26 am (UTC)
I know, it's so silly to pay $15 for a stupid underscore, but people have messed up my username before, and the damn underscore was starting to annoy me (you can't even have double underscores for new LJs anymore), so I bit the bullet and did it!

And thanks for the compliment on Meghan! She dazzles me every day (but she doesn't sparkle like Edward Cullen, alas)!
(no subject) - so_severus on August 27th, 2008 02:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - miss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 02:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
Genesse: wonderment - calvin & hobbesgenesse on August 27th, 2008 03:20 am (UTC)
Miss Sophia: Meghan - Sweet potato smilemiss_sophia on August 27th, 2008 05:56 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :D
The Fizzy Champagne Princesspuredeadthingy on August 31st, 2008 04:23 pm (UTC)
I guess the gin-bedtime method is frowned upon now... (I usually hate kids, but in pictures she is cuter than most.)
Miss Sophia: Meghan - Sweet potato smilemiss_sophia on September 2nd, 2008 03:11 am (UTC)
LOL, I can't say that "Hmmm, maybe I should drink a bottle of beer...hey, the Europeans do it all the time!" hasn't crossed my mind!!!

Hee, thanks, she definitely is a cutie, and she's got quite a personality to boot! It's hard to identify with other people's kids, so I hear ya!