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05 May 2006 @ 02:14 pm
I'm a fucking chump  
My suckitude has reached new extremes: I missed my last final exam. Not just my last final exam of the semester, but my last final exam EVER (unless I go back to school again, HAHAHAHAHA...no).

I had looked up the time and room number over the weekend, and I recall seeing that it started at 11. So, I arrived at the building at 10:30 and studied a bit more out in the hall. The whole time, something felt not right, but I kept telling myself I was just being paranoid. By 10:45, I had begun to notice that no one was walking in, and that seemed strange. Many people show up a bit early for final exams. 10:50 passes, and still no one comes in. I'm thinking, "Maybe I'm in the wrong building?" I was pretty sure I had read the final exam schedule thingy correctly, but...you never know. Luckily, the building has Internet access and I had my laptop with me, so I sat down and logged in to check the exam schedule again.

Yeah. The exam was 9 to 11. I had seen the "11:00AM" and, in my somewhat foggy state of mind this weekend (thanks to my intestinal disease, which decided to have another round of "Let's nearly kill Miss Sophia for the 87th time, yeah?"), I had not looked very hard at the listing, or else I would have noticed it said "9:00AM to 11:00AM". So I had just assumed it was 11 to 1.

So I'm like, "FUCK!" Actually, I got really really calm; that's how I tend to deal with many crises. It's sort of like survival mode or something. I mean, when it came down to it, the situation sucked like Paris Hilton, but the fact is that there was no way it was going to kill me. Things work themselves out. During times like this, you realize what's really important in life and what's not. And while my final exam and grade were extremely important, they're not what pumps blood through my veins, you know? Life goes on.

So I waited outside the classroom door until 11. A couple of my friends came out, and I was like, "OMG, guys, I fucking misread the time, and isn't that like the fakest excuse ever? But I swear, it's totally true!" And they were all sympathetic, so that was helpful. The prof wasn't there and the grader/proctor guy had no real authority, so I ended up going back to the department's building and taking the exam in a room by myself from 11:30 to 1:30. We couldn't reach the professor, but the department administrator figured the prof would probably be OK with this. I sure hope so. At least I took the exam and it's done. And I think one of my essays was really damn good. The other was meh to decent.

But I feel like the biggest asshole ever. I mean, how completely and utterly bogus does my excuse sound? But it's totally true! I told the administrator I felt like the biggest asshole. He's always been really nice to me, and I'm sort of the model student in the department (why, I don't know...), so I think it's going to be OK. But damn. I have reached new levels of assy-ness.

On the bright side, it's 80 degrees outside and absolutely gorgeous. And all I have left schoolwise is undegrad exams to grade, a thesis proposal to write (which shouldn't be a big deal, as it's based off two papers I've written in the past), and a very overdue 25-page paper to write (thanks again to my good ol' intestinal situation, which put me out of commission this weekend). But hey, I can handle that! :)

Anyone who wants to point and laugh at my dumbassery of the day is absolutely welcome to do so. I'm just all up with the stupid this week, aren't I?
Current Location: Chumpville
Current Mood: chumpy
Current Music: "Chump," by Green Day
ex_jo_blogs on May 6th, 2006 01:56 am (UTC)
Watch your cornhole'
Uh - we weren't sure about that line actually, though i have an idea ^-^ - maybe you can enlighten us ;)

The 7 figures thing was a ref to the guy who gets all mashed up in a car crash after trying to kill himself with the exhaust and they go to a barbeque at is house - in case that seemed like TMI :D

I used to be able to write like that - in the days of longhand. I could pour out 1000s of words in one 3 hour exam. Nowadays, I can only write at the computer but with knackered wrists (hence possible settlement), I have to pace myself - very frustrating.
Miss Sophia: Hermione in the librarymiss_sophia on May 6th, 2006 02:00 am (UTC)
"Cornhole" is another word for "arsehole," and as I understand it, it derives from when people used to use old corncobs as toilet paper. That could possibly be an urban legend. However, it's the same reasoning that's behind the name of Beavis's (of Beavis and Butthead) alter-ego "Cornholio" (who always needs TP for his bunghole). So, when Lawrence said, "Watch your cornhole," it was basically the same thing as saying, "Don't drop the soap." In other words, people will try to sodomize you in jail, so watch your ass.

Oh, ick, carpal tunnels? That sucks. I have a friend with a bad case of that (too many years of computer programming--and she's just 29!), and she uses voice synthesis software to do a lot of her computer tasks.
ex_jo_blogs on May 6th, 2006 02:10 am (UTC)
it was basically the same thing as saying, "Don't drop the soap."
as we suspected ;-) and The Designer mentioned Cornholio which I'd never heard of. Corn cobs as toilet paper - that HAS to be true, it's just too funny not to be.

i'm thinking of checking out voice software - i'll try it out with my fics and see how stupid i feel talking to myself :D
Miss Sophia: Hermione wakes Ron upmiss_sophia on May 6th, 2006 02:13 am (UTC)
I can imagine American pioneers using corncobs as toilet paper. I just hope no one still does that!

You might want to take a look at this thread from one of the Fandom_Wank spinoff communities. It's a wank about blind people, but one of the threads (towards the top, I think) has some information about voice synthesis software.