May 4th, 2006

Writing with Quill

Fucking shit

I apologize for ever doubting you, Miss Nymphadora Tonks. Apparently, we're soul sistas, because I am just all up with the klutzy.

What happened? I broke my laptop power cord. AGAIN. For those who just joined me on my flist, here's the recap:

19 February 1977: Miss Sophia is born. Although she has no recollection of this date, she feels it is highly likely that she tripped coming out of the womb. This could quite possibly explain her twisted mental state.

On or around 5 July 1998: Brie the cat is born.

Fall 2004: Miss Sophia buys her 12" Apple PowerBook G4.

Several weeks later: Miss Sophia overbalances while sitting on her bed and leaning forward and jams a fingernail into her laptop's screen, causing a tiny scratch/hole to be permanently embedded in the screen.

Winter 2005: Brie the cat spazzes out and trips over the power cord to Miss Sophia's laptop, yanking it out and causing the little circle around the pin (on the piece where you plug it into the computer) to get slightly bent. The power cord still works, but the connection is a bit more tenuous. Thus starts a very unfortunate trend.

End of March 2006: Miss Sophia trips over the powercord while her laptop is sitting on a table, yanking out the cord and causing the pin to completely fall out of the part of the cord that plugs into the laptop. She purchases a new power cord for fucking $120. Here, Apple, take another piece of my soul. No, that's OK, you keep it. I didn't need it anyway.

The next day: The power cord seems to have stopped working, or at least the computer refuses to get a charge from it. Miss Sophia goes to the Apple Store, where her computer makes her look like a complete asshole by working just fine with the power cord in front of the people at the so-called Genius Bar.

The next day (3 April 2006, something like that): In a moment of panic upon receiving a call about her apartment being shown in two minutes while she still had an unmade bed and needed to change her pants. Miss Sophia gets up and puts her laptop down in a not very careful manner. The power cord stops working again. She takes it back to the Apple Store that day, where they tell her that the port piece inside the computer is fucked up (if you really want to read about the wangst, it's here) and she needs to pay over $600 to get it fixed. Oh, and she won't see her computer for a couple of weeks. Miss Sophia dies inside.

The next day: Miss Sophia finds an independent retailer who fixes the broken piece of her computer in 24 hours for $339. There is much rejoicing, but also a great deal of poverty.

And that brings us to today.

4 May 2006: Miss Sophia goes to pick her laptop up off the floor (where she keeps it next to the bed while she is sleeping; yes, she is that pathetic) and steps on the power cord just as she is lifting the computer, causing the circle piece of the power cord to get horrifically bent. The pin is also bent, although Miss Sophia manages to straighten it with her teeth. While the cord is still plugged in. Miss Sophia is lucky to be alive. It is only after she tries to fix the circle part with eyebrow tweezers that she realizes it's not a good idea to stick metal (or your mouth) on anything that is still plugged in. Luckily, the only indication was that contact with the tweezers caused the charge light on the cord to go on. No electrocution was involved.

Miss Sophia also worries about the fact that the port area in the computer now seems a bit dented.

Good fucking lord, why am I so goddam clumsy? It's like I'm not aware of the boundaries of my body or something. And the thing is, this will never ever change, so I need to just accept it and move on. I don't mind, really. Bruises heal. Embarrassment (e.g., after you've tripped over something in front of a bunch of people) doesn't last forever. BUT IT'S NOT COOL WHEN IT INVOLVES MY LAPTOP, MY BABY, MY HEART AND SOUL!

The plan is that I'm calling up the independent retailer who helped me before to see if maybe he can fix the power cord and then take a look to make sure I didn't fuck up the port again. If he can't, or if he can't sell me a refurbished power cord, then I'll just suck it up and blow another $120 at the Apple Store for a new charger. I don't know who's got more of my money these days, J.K. Rowling, Starbucks, or Steve Jobs.

And then, in the summer, when we're no longer poor, I shall buy me a new laptop, because Apple is now making laptops with magnetic plugs, plugs that involve no actual piece going into another piece that klutzy people can easily yank out and break. Thank you, Apple, for finally thinking of the klutzy people! We think of you...rolling in our money.

Note to new people on my flist: I occasionally bitch, rant, and whine, using all sorts of hyperbole. It's my way of making myself feel better. Don't take me too seriously. I'm not about to jump out the window. Yes, I'm annoyed, but overall I find the whole thing more funny than anything. I mean it bites, but damn, my immense suckitude and shitty luck is fucking hilarious.
Writing with Quill

Big boobies and a pretty face will get you far, or all's well that ends well

Score, yo! So, the independent retailer thinks I'm one hot chick, and as a result, I got two chargers for $50! Woo-hoo! I swear, I didn't do anything, wasn't manipulative, etc. He just has a big thing for me (he even compared me to Jessica Rabbit, and no I'm not kidding!) and decided that he'd trade my two broken chargers (the one I broke back in April and the one I broke today) for two good ones and $50. Fuckin' sweet! Dude, seriously? I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way. ;) Heh, really, he kept saying over and over about how beautiful I am, and my husband's lucky, and blah blah blah. Frankly, it was pretty inappropriate, but I don't really care that much. I've been on the receiving end of far more than that, and it is kind of flattering in a way. (OMG I'M SUCH A H0R! TAKE THAT, GINNY WEASLEY!) And he was a pretty nice guy overall, so it was no big deal.

So now I can fuck up and break another charger and still be good to go with my backup charger. If Gmail weren't down right now, and if I didn't have a final exam tomorrow that I have no clue what I'm doing on, and if I didn't have a thesis proposal to write for Monday, and if I didn't have undergrad finals to grade for Monday, life would be fuckin' awesome.

The weather's finally decent, too. Actually, it's gorgeous. And we Bostonians deserve it, because the whole earlier part of the week was utter shite.

Oh, and the retailer guy gave me a tip: Don't buy the new series of Mac laptops (I forget what they're called--Powersomethingoranothers) until the fall, when the second series (he kept calling it "revision") comes out, because the first revision is always full of problems, and those computers require a lot of fixing up. So if anyone's thinking of buying an Apple laptop, wait until the fall.
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