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19 February 2006 @ 06:05 pm
Crack!fic Recc List  
As much as I love a good angsty, emotional story, I'm a huge sucker when it comes to humor. I love silliness, irreverence, whimsical humor, parody, satire, and lots of crack. So these are my recommendations for Harry Potter fan fiction stories (with some miscellaneous non-HP items) that have made me laugh, organized by genre.

This page last updated by Miss Sophia on September 1, 2008. Most of these fics have some degree of sexual content...because sex is funny! In the case of chaptered stories, the date of publication I give is the date the most recent chapter was published.

Fandom Parody, Snark, and Meta-Satire



Title: HermionePotter and the Triumph of Delusion
Author: miss_sophia (That's me!)
Summary: Now that the whole good vs. evil rubbish has been disposed of, Harry can finally pursue his real quest.
Rating: R for language, lots of crack, and a rampant case of innuendo
Pairings: Harry/Hermione, Harry/Snape, Harmonians/delusion
Additional Warnings:
Date of Publication: February 28, 2006
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: I'm a mean fucking bitch, man.

Title: The Pandora Complex
Author: Nimori
Summary: Some boxes, once opened, are impossible to shut.
Rating: NC-17
Additional Warnings: Graphic sex between two men
Pairings: Snape/Harry
Date of Publication: Unknown
Number of Chapters: 8, with an epilogue
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: I am not at all a fan of Snape/Harry, but this one is hilarious. It's meta to the 87th degree, and each time a new layer of meta is added, the story gets more brilliant. The premise is that Snape discovers Harry Potter fan fiction. The obscene moments are played to great comic effect.

Title: The Best Fucking Night Ever
Author: cmere
Summary: Remus gets an orgy to pay him back for all the shit he goes through in canon.
Rating: NC-17
Additional Warnings: This fic contains almost every kink imaginable.
Pairings: Remus/Sirius/Peter/James/Harry/Ron/Snape/Dumbledore
Date of Publication: May 31, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: Pure crack!fic. The author purposely tried to squeeze ever possible perversion into this fic, to great comic effect. It's supposed to be utterly silly, but if you're easily offended, then it's probably not for you. I find it hilarious.

Title: Ferrets Forever!
Author: fourth_rose
Summary: Fanon!Draco will never die!
Rating: R for language
Additional Warnings: Character death. Sort of.
Pairings: Harry/Draco, Remus/Sirius (mainly in theory, rather than action)
Date of Publication: January 10, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: The author wrote this short fic in response to a pre-HBP discussion on an H/D LJ community about what would happen to the H/D ship if Draco were to die in Book 6. Here's what the author says about this fic: "Though they all agreed that H/D would not die even if JKR were to kill Draco, it seems obvious that until July 16th, a H/D shipper’s boggart will take the shape of a silver-blond corpse. Yet, we’ve all been taught by Professor Lupin how one should tackle a boggart, haven’t we? (My other excuse for the… thing behind the cut would be that I had way too much chocolate before writing it. So I can blame Lupin either way.)" This is a very funny meta-fic, starring Sirius and Draco...beyond the grave. Pokes good fun at HP fanon.

Title: Never Mind The Bollocks, It's Draco/Harry (Shake Your Groove Thing)
Author: geoviki
Summary: This is crack!fic at its worst. Can we say cliché? Yes, yes we can. I tried to get them all.
Rating: NC-17
Additional Warnings: Authorial insanity.
Pairings: Harry/Draco
Date of Publication: June 4, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: This is a good parody of fanon cliches, especially those in the Harry/Draco realm. Very silly.

Title: Harry Potter and the Bad Seventh Year Fan Fiction
Author: Grandson of Dumbledore
Summary: The fan fiction universe is full of really terrible stories filled with angst, romance, drama and even slash. Here is a parody taking a poke at the worst that fan fiction writers churn out about Harry Potter.
Rating: T (PG-13)
Additional Warnings: Language, Potters running around nekkid, extreme silliness and hilarity
Pairings:
Date of Publication: October 29, 2005
Number of Chapters: 13
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: This fic is a masterpiece, chock full of pokes at HP fanon cliches, including Mary Sues and the HP movies. Very very very funny.

Title: How a Gay Man Should Please a Gay Woman in Bed, According to Luna Lovegood
Author: snegurochka_lee
Summary: Remus may be a sex god with men, but his experience with women is lacking. (Adult) Luna teaches him a few things.
Rating: NC-17
Additional Warnings: Oh god, so many: Total OOC-ness and crack!ficcery, bad!sex (countered with good!sex later, though), realism, gender-bending sex acts, sex toys, and general, utter insanity. Apologies in advance for, well, all of it.
Pairings: Remus/adult!Luna (references to Remus/Tonks, Luna/Tonks, and Remus/every male canon character)
Date of Publication: October 9, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: Very raunchy, very funny. Features an extremely in-character Luna and great pokes at fanon!gay!Remus. This one was a little difficult to fit into my genre system, but I think it probably belongs here, since there's a good deal of fandom parody going on.

Cracktastic Pairings



Title: Horcrux Love
Author: darlingfox
Summary: How long can Godric's blade last when encircled by Salazar's charm?
Rating: R for cracktastic Horcrux humping
Pairings: Gryffindor Sword/Slytherin Locket
Additional Warnings:
Date of Publication: March 21, 2006
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot ficlet)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: Strangely sexy and smouldering. That Slytherin locket sure knows how to rub a sword the right way. The first fic to inspire the "Get Crackin' 2006" crack!fic challenge.

Title: Love Between the Houses
Author: miss_sophia (That's me!)
Summary: They were a mismatched pair from different neighbourhoods. But they made sweet love. And Number Four would never forget that night.
Rating: R for cracktastic house humping
Pairings: Number Four, Privet Drive/Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place
Additional Warnings:
Date of Publication: March 21, 2006
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot ficlet...or will there be a sequel?)
Completed?: Yes Maybe
Miss Sophia's Comments: Hawt house sex. Response to "Horcrux Love" and the second fic to inspire the "Get Crackin' 2006" crack!fic challenge.

Title: Love and Loss
Author: melandry
Summary: The Great Hall Ceiling mourns its lost true love, killed in battle.
Rating: G (but still cracktastic)
Pairings: Great Hall Ceiling/Fountain of Magical Brethren (ya rly)
Additional Warnings:
Date of Publication: March 21, 2006
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot ficlet)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: OMG theirloveissoarchitectural! *emo tear* What a beautiful story of love and tragic loss. From the "Get Crackin' 2006" crack!fic challenge.

Title: The Treehouse Affair
Author: _ecrivain (unfortunately no longer here on LJ)
Summary: It was a good idea. It would have been a fairy tale ending if it just hadn’t been for that one mistake...
Rating: PG
Pairings: Whomping Willow/Shrieking Shack
Additional Warnings:
Date of Publication: July 19, 2004
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: This pairing is truly cracktastic, and the fic features cameos from other (creepily well-characterized) Potterverse buildings. Well written and quite irreverent. Bonus points for the Jerry Springer-like climax and rhyme-y last sentence. Quite a number of ell-oh-ell moments.

Title: Not Your Every Day Infatuation
Author: Rushlight (rushlight75)
Summary: A rather unusual love story
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Harry/Hogwarts
Additional Warnings: Um, this one's a bit kinky.
Date of Publication: November 25, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: This is one of my absolute favorite crack stories, because it not only features one of the most cracktastic pairings ever (yes, you read it correctly, it's Harry slash Hogwarts Castle), but also it's beautifully written. The author makes you feel the lazy summer heat, the soft, cool nights, the comforting touch of the castle as it...well, you've gotta read it to find out. Harry is also amazingly in character. The castle? Ummm...not so much, but it does spend some time in a character if you know what I mean, *wink*. Many thanks to anonymouse Prudence over at hp_cornfield for unearthing this fic for me, since I stupidly did not bookmark it when I first came across it.

Title: Whomped!
Author: kitsune
Summary: Now we know why the Willow is so valuable...
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Draco/Whomping Willow, with a bonus appearance by The Boy Who Watched
Additional Warnings: Dendrophilia, voyeurism
Date of Publication: May 24, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: I've debated about whether this fic belongs in this recc list, because it's almost more of a squickfic than a crack!fic. Almost. It's certainly no Malfoycest skullfucking fic. (Trust me, you don't want the link to that one!) However, since it's a totally crackalicious pairing, I'm putting it here.

Title: To Ride the Electric Serpent
Author: wikdsushi
Summary: I call this the catharsis of sixteen months spent babysitting 50 screaming brats at a time, for $6.00 an hour, while their parents went next door to watch a movie. Die, Pikachu. Die.
Rating: R
Additional Warnings:
Pairings: Voldemort/Pikachu
Date of Publication: May 8, 2003
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: I've never even watched Pokemon before, but this fic cracked me the hell up. This is truly a brilliant story. The author writes an incredibly in-character Voldemort (it's almost like the graveyard scene from GoF) and navigates spectacularly around the problem of Pikachu having a one-word vocabulary. Don't let the R rating fool you; it's actually pretty tame. It's not really slash; if there's a sexual theme running through it, it's only very very mildly implied. The rating is more for violence, but it's of such a silly nature that I think it would be hard to find it offensive.

Title: Untitled Gaia RP
Author: Unknown
Summary: As stated by the person who reported it on bad_rpers_suck: "Yes, I found this in a REAL roleplay on Gaia. It was an Advanced Elite Literate crossover of Pokemon, Twilight, and Naruto. Pikachu, from my further reading of posts, had the ability to transform into a human form. Edward was being destroyed by some ninjas because he dared to 'defile' his 'pure vampire blood' with that of a Pokemon shapeshifter. Apparently, Pikachu was really Ash's father in disguise."
Rating: PG (or R, but only for "ridiculous")
Additional Warnings:
Pairings: Edward Cullen (Twilight series)/Pikachu
Date of Publication: August or September 2008, most likely
Number of Chapters: none -- only a small sample given in the bad_rpers_suck posting
Completed?: No idea, but I hope it carries on for a very long time
Miss Sophia's Comments: The person who reported this on bad_rpers_suck is convinced it's a serious RP, not intentional crack. I can't see how it's not intentional crack, but either way, it's far better than Edward/Bella. I mean, dude, it has this line: "Honey-and-Goldenrod-Wheat orbs slammed into ones unconceived of life." And apparently Edward and Pikachu first "made pleasure" to a Celine Dion song. This has to be crack. Either way, it's cracktastic.

Title: Adolf Hitler and the Strange Discovery
Author: Twi
Summary: A future genocidal maniac (no, not Tom Riddle...the other guy...NO, NOT GRINDELWALD EITHER!), Britney Spears's ex, and The Boy Who Lived...OMG theirloveissogodwinslaw!
Rating: PG-13 for language and sexual implications
Additional Warnings: Don't read if Hitler parody is not for you.
Pairings: Harry Potter/NSYNC (Justin Timberlake)/Adolf Hitler/Mr. Pookums the teddy bear
Date of Publication: December 2002
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: Laughing at Hitler is the best. This story is short and hilarious. Bonus points for mention of Tom Riddle as Adolf Hitler's friend. Tom Riddle/Adolf Hitler OTP! OMG theirloveissogenocidal!

Damn Funny Genfic



Title: The Owl Chronicles
Author: mouse
Summary: Days One and Two: A Muggle Studies field trip is forced upon Snape and his associates. No matter how daunting the Muggle world might be for the teachers, it isn't capable of being worse than the students themselves! Days Three and Four: The Muggle Studies field trip continues, with a trip to an amusement park, and some troubles getting home to Hogwarts.
Rating: PG/PG-13
Additional Warnings: Some mild language
Pairings:
Date of Publication: June 11, 2005
Number of Chapters: 2
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: This story is a series of notes and short letters passed back and forth between several Hogwarts professors during a Muggle Studies field trip to London. Snape, McGonagall, Lockhart, and Trelawney have to put up with overly sugared and terribly immature Hogwarts brats while navigating a shopping mall, amusement park, seven-hour bus ride, and hotel stay. There is much silliness.

Title: Naked Quidditch Match
Author: Anya (with a teeny bit by Karen)
Summary: A game of magical Truth or Dare leads to some dire consequences for the Gryffindor Quidditch team.
Rating: PG-13 for language and content, mostly a few obscenities and some mild sexual innuendo.
Pairings:
Additional Warnings:
Date of Publication: 2001
Number of Chapters: 10
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: This story is a classic. It's a series of wizard-type e-mails ("Mmails") concerning...well, I think the summary gives you enough of an idea. Laugh-out-loud funny!

Title: The Dead Parrot Wizard Sketch (With Apologies to Monty Python)
Author: julia_fractal
Summary: A customer has purchased Sirius. But he is dead. The customer seeks redress.
Rating: PG-13 for sexual innuendo
Additional Warnings: Implied slash, but nothing graphic
Pairings:
Date of Publication: July 10, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: Funny parody for anyone even mildly familiar with the Monty Python dead-parrot sketch.

Title: Draco Malfoy's Diary
Author: The Morning Starr
Summary: Meet Draco Malfoy--a teenage Slytherin who is certain he would have all the answers if he could:
a. lose 15 pounds
b. win the Quidditch Cup
c. win the House Cup
Draco Malfoy's Diary is the devastatingly self-aware, tongue-in-cheek daily chronicle of Draco's permanent, doomed quest for self-improvement--a school year in which he resolves to: beat Potter at Quidditch, beat Granger at O.W.L.s, and beat Weasley at everything. Takes place during Order of the Phoenix. (Parody)
Rating: PG to PG-13 for mild language (This is my, Miss Sophia's, best estimate at a rating. Sugar Quill fics tend to be fairly innocuous.)
Additional Warnings:
Pairings: Draco/Pansy, I think
Date of Publication: September 21, 2004
Number of Chapters: 8
Completed?: No, but it hasn't been updated in a long time, so this may be it.
Miss Sophia's Comments: I actually haven't gotten around to reading this fic yet, but I skimmed it, and it looks very funny. And it's on the Sugar Quill (Professor's Bookshelf as well).

Title: A Christmas Cackle
Author: mouse
Summary: A humorous look at what would happen if the spirit world tried to teach Severus Snape about the meaning of Christmas, and he refused to cooperate...
Rating: PG-13 for potty-mouth
Additional Warnings:
Pairings:
Date of Publication: April 27, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: Funny parody of "A Christmas Carol," featuring James, Sirius, and Moaning Myrtle as the respective ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future, and Snape as Scrooge.

Title: Draco Malfoy the Amazing Bouncing...Rat? (The last two chapters may be found here.)
Author: Maya
Summary: Draco Malfoy, magically transformed into an evil rat. Who is it who always seems to get the evil rats as pets, and what is poor, poor Draco's new name? Eventually D/Hr, just now mainly D/coffee...
Rating: PG-13
Additional Warnings:
Pairings: D/coffee, D/Hr
Date of Publication: July 24, 2002
Number of Chapters: 12
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: Very random, very silly, many laugh-out-loud moments. A classic in HP fandom.

Damn Funny Crack Pairings (but not Crack-Pairings) Fic


That is, funny fics or crack!fics involving pairings, but the pairings themselves are not outrageously cracktastic.

Title: Abner of Astlegate's Most Splendid Pox
Author: Cate
Summary: Remus gets sick, and Sirius plays nursemaid. Imagine . . .
Rating: PG
Additional Warnings: Some swearing, and as you can see from the pairing, there is a homosexual relationship between Remus and Sirius. They don't actually do anything in this fic, though, aside from making some fairly mild sexual references. Most of the interaction is loving and sweet--and very irreverent.
Pairings: Remus/Sirius
Date of Publication: March 2, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: This story is so cute and so hilarious. The randomness reminds me of a Monty Python sketch. Story notes can be found here.

Title: Membership Has Its Privileges
Author: kitsune
Summary: Remus wonders why Severus joined the Order, and the answer shocks Remus.
Rating: NC-17
Additional Warnings: Gratuitous humor and cliches, passing mentions of object insertion and het.
Pairings: Everyone in the Order of the Phoenix is getting it on with everyone else.
Date of Publication: July 4, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: kitsune is a master of squick!fic and kink, and it's always so purposely outlandish that I can't help but laugh. Here, Remus and Snape have a conversation about why Snape left the Death Eaters for the Order...at the same time as the two of them, erm, explore each other. Rather graphic and extremely silly.

Title: Mother Knows Best
Author: musesfool (victoria p.)
Summary: Molly Weasley tries her hand at matchmaking. Wackiness ensues.
Rating: PG-13 for gratuitous use of the word "bugger" and some boytouching.
Additional Warnings:
Pairings: Bill/Fleur, Remus/Sirius
Date of Publication: October 14, 2003
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: Poor Molly. She only wants the best for Bill. Unfortunately for her, he's not gay, and he's not in love with Remus Lupin. This fic is very cute and scores major points with me for silliness such as the following (said by Sirius): "Molly, I'm the one living in sin with a gay werewolf! I am not a bigot. I just want you to stop arranging Remus's love life."

Title: One-oh-three-nine
Author: CJ (cjmarlowe
Summary: As Harry dutifully carries out Snape's punishment of repairing Filch's old detention files, he learns just how deviant his father and Sirius were in their Hogwarts days. And he gets a bit excited about it.
Rating: NC-17
Additional Warnings:
Pairings: James/Sirius
Date of Publication: August 2, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: Randomness + irreverence = good laughs.

Pure WTF



Title: Pain Don't Hurt
Author: Blackwatch
Summary: Crackfic, set in Texas, Redneck!Sirius/Trailer trash!Remus look up Snape.
Rating: NC-17
Additional Warnings: Sex between two men...while riding on a horse. Frightening Texas dialogue. Crazy OOC Remus, Sirius, and Snape (on purpose, of course). Language.
Pairings: Remus/Sirius, Remus/Sirius/Snape (sort of)
Date of Publication: December 19, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: Oh, boy. Remus and Snape speak Texan and get it on on a horse. Snape is a stripper. Definitely crack. Story notes can be found here.

Title: Of Dog and Chimp
Author: unsymbolic
Summary: What is on ‘the other side of the veil’? Maybe it’s something far more sinister than death. Maybe it’s the Bush White House!
Rating: PG
Additional Warnings: Supreme idiocy of the Republican Party in general and George W. Bush in particular
Pairings: Sirius Black/George W. Bush (with a side order of Harry/Draco, implied)
Date of Publication: August 14, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: There are no words to describe how absolutely fucking brilliant this piece is. Added bonus: implied Remus/Sirius!

Title: Much More Than a Hunch
Author: mahaliem
Summary: Harry finds himself a new home with six new siblings. No, they're not the Weasleys.
Rating: G
Additional Warnings: May induce flashbacks about polyester and horrible 1970s hair
Pairings: None
Date of Publication: May 7, 2006
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: Short, simple, and spot on. I'm eagerly awaiting a Greg/Marcia/Harry sequel.

Miscellaneous



Title: Cedric Diggory Is Very Very Gay
Author: kerrypolka
Summary: Photoessay (not technically fan fiction) with awesome snarky captions that proves the flaming homosexuality of Hogwarts's favorite dead Hufflepuff. An inspiration to all Cedric/Harry and Cedric/Justin Finch-Fletchley slashers everywhere...and perhaps a catalyst in the conversion of many new C/H and C/JF-F slashers worldwide. I feel some plot bunnies scratching at my door....
Rating: PG-13 to R for themes relating to homosexuality amongst boarding school boys (also known as "Awesome!" in my book)
Additional Warnings: May cause fits of hysterical laughter and an inability to view Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire without noticing even more gay undertones than when you saw it in the theatre the first 87 times
Pairings: Cedric/Harry, Cedric/Justin Finch-Fletchley, Cedric/Viktor Krum, Cedric/wind machine, Cedric/his wand, Cedric/a group of Hufflepuff boys and a fag hag
Date of Publication: November 20, 2005
Number of Chapters: 1 (one-shot)
Completed?: Yes
Miss Sophia's Comments: This exercise in the finest of photodocumentary-ness is a must-view. It contains hot pictures of Robert Pattinson, hilarious captions, my man Dan Radcliffe, wands, and Teh Gay. Suspend all eating and drinking activities for a window of approximately five minutes pre- and post-viewing in order to protect the sanitation of your computer keyboard.


 
 
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